T o put it bluntly… guys cheat because the relationship was never their goal.. Remember, guys are not that complex. You probably know about some girls who stalk guys like sexual predators- they try in every way they can to get them to cheat.
Generally speaking, guys who grow up in homes where their parents cheat, find it much easier to do the same thing. Counselor Gary Neuman asked cheating and non-cheating husbands about why they cheated. Some guys give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends and family do. Do you remember Tiger Woods? He was married to one of the hottest women on the planet, but he was a big-time cheater with lots of women.
The guy cheated once, then twice, then three times. It became easier and easier to give in, harder and harder to say no. If you are dating a guy who cheated before , there is a good chance he will cheat on you too, even if from the beginning he never planned it that way.
If he has cheated more than once, it is even more likely that it will happen again. I believe sometimes people are truly ashamed of a choice they made and would like to undo the past. In fact, if you are the Cheater here are 5 Life Changing Steps for you! My point in this blog is to point out things to look for and consider if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who cheats.
In fact, it might hurt even more. So I want you to know, right now, that you can and will get through this. Many others have walked this path before. You might learn some tough lessons through the process, but you can come out on the other side of this stronger and ready for a healthy relationship. In the meantime, God wants to help heal your broken heart. He promises this in the Bible:. Psalm MSG.
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The only condition is that you need to look to God for help, pray to Him and share your feelings with Him. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him. Blessed are you who run to him. God is waiting to comfort you in your pain. You may wonder if you're loveable at all. If his actions made you feel like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, or not good enough, you can benefit from spending some time building your self-esteem.
An online counselor can help you evaluate your thoughts and understand how your boyfriend's infidelity compromised your sense of self-worth. They may suggest that you think of your positive qualities. They might give you homework to do things that bring out the best in you and increase your self-esteem. Having good self-esteem can affect everything from your career to your family relationships. Improving it is an excellent way to move on with a more satisfying life or to stay with a new sense of independence.
Anger is a natural reaction to being cheated on by your partner.
Seven reasons why people cheat, according to psychologists | The Independent
You can be the most loving, caring, attractive, and exciting person in the world, but if your boyfriend has issues of his own, he may still cheat. Allow yourself to feel your anger without telling yourself it's wrong. Feelings of anger don't always show up right away.
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You may feel hurt, rejected, or sad at first. You may never permit yourself to feel your anger if you learned to fear or avoid that emotion as a child. The best thing you can do if you have unresolved feelings of anger is to get into therapy and. Learn how to manage those feelings. It isn't helpful to deny or suppress anger, but your counselor can help you find appropriate ways to deal with it. What so often happens when we end a relationship with someone who's cheated on us is that we quickly fall into a similar relationship.
Learning what contributed to the infidelity and other problems in your relationship can help you avoid having a series of boyfriends who do the same to you. That means dealing with the issues that cause you to be attracted to these kinds of people. It also means knowing the red flags to look for when you get involved with someone new, this incident was painful enough, and you probably don't want something like this to happen to you again. A counselor can help you explore your background and issues so that you become better at choosing partners.
If your boyfriend cheated on you, something in the relationship was broken. You may decide to stay with your boyfriend and forge a new relationship. That road can be a difficult one.
9 Reasons Guys Who Used to Cheat Turn Into Faithful Boyfriends
Both people have to participate in the healing and rebuilding process of the relationship. A therapist can help you with this process fairly and reasonably. If you don't deal with the infidelity in a way that works for both of you, the problem is bound to resurface, whether in another episode of cheating or in the gradual disintegration of your relationship. Should you stay, or should you go? You need to make a new plan. You need a game plan for yourself that honors your rights and who you are as an individual.
The relationship will never be the same.
However, if you both do the work to heal the broken bond, it could survive and maybe even get better. You may find that you aren't willing to continue it. You may instead want to spend your time and effort in building a new life on your own. Working with an online counselor can help you build confidence in yourself, point you in the direction of what you want in a romantic relationship, and help you achieve that goal. You can have the life you want, but to do so, you have to deal with your issues and learn how to love yourself more.
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You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. So I started dating someone, but we never stopped loving each other and one day we gave in and cheated on our partners with each other. I know this sounds horrible and all but I don't know why I'd do it. Perhaps it's the same reason why I don't know why I drink. I like new energy. I know, in the eyes of some people this makes me a horrible person.
But I am who I am. It was right after she'd cheated on me. It wasn't quite revenge; more like trying to put things back in balance.